Laundromat

Earlier today we spent some time at the local laundromat washing two duvet inserts because our washing machine is a wuss that can't handle them. While there, Julie looked at one of her Tech class's lessons on Powerpoint, I took some pictures (when people weren't walking through, because I'm shy like that--they have seen crazier things but I don't go out of my way to bring attention to myself in public places) and then read some in my book.

These are the pictures from today...and a very long story that you might want to spare yourself from--about the story of my skin and how it obviously is related to Satan.

This is the haircut and the face that is hopefully getting better from the new meds I'm on. Monday we went to the dermatologist (We: I don't go anywhere alone that involves examinations and rooms that have evil hidden needles lurking about, wimpy or not I don't care). It's not a secret that I struggle with awful skin and have for a long time...seeing as it's written all over my face---pun intended. But it might be unknown about how much it bothers me and how it's the number one thing I'm self conscious about and don't find enjoyable being discussed over tea and crumpets. I almost never feel non-self conscious about it or stop wondering if someone is just looking at me...or LOOKING at me and thinking awful thoughts.

It's funny really because it's almost as though people over the years haven't given it much thought...I say this because I've had (apparently shitty friends) over the years who have ACTUALLY gotten snippy about not wanting to go clothes shopping or this or that because I was the SKINNY one and they were not and were struggling and self conscious about their weight. I never EVER said anything mean to them or flaunted my so-called skinniness in their faces, but simply bought clothes! I never yelled back at them and told them that while yes they did have a weight problem, I had a face problem that I hated just as much as they hated their problem and I had to carry it around in front of me every single day and look at it just as much and probably be stared at more because of. It was ironic that their skin was flawless and I felt ugly and they assumed that because I was skinny that I was perfectly happy with every aspect of myself and that I ABSOLUTELY could not relate to them. Ignorant assholes I guess, or self involved delusionals perhaps. Anyway, I turned 30 and decided I better give the dermatologist another chance because while I was hoping things would get better, they got worse...why I was being an optimist during that time I don't know. Hormones must have done some different things because my skin started doing things it hadn't before...instead of just bumps it turned into dry, REALLY DRY--bumpy, red, patchy places. Retribution was in order. Dermatologist appointment went well and now we are in "try this and see mode." Hmm...SORRY that is a long story I could have made very short...Hate skin, always have, always been bad...now have pills and cream to try and take care of it...and I'm once again trying for hope and optimism. :)

Definitely BITTER

I was SOOOOOO bitter and ill today because of having to go into work after I was SURE the snow/sleet would cause some freezing and we'd be staying home. I had dreams in my mind about having a video watching day all snuggled up on the sofa. So when it started raining last night and all the snow and ice had gone away, I was pretty unhappy about it. I knew the kids would be crazy too. I did share some fun stories with the kids today and it seems most of us had fun catching snowflakes on our tongues. I just wish it could have lasted a little longer.

I don't know how much I enjoy going to my job anymore. Sure there are kids that really make a difference and ones that I ADORE, but those that are nice, sweet, polite, funny, kindhearted, etc...are getting more obsolete by the minute whereas the butt-holes seem to be taking over. If this is how it is now, with kids that don't care, parents that don't care and the attitude that learning/school/anything we try to prepare them for doesn't matter at all...what is it going to be like in 5 years, 10 years?! It used to be thought that it's the parents from my generation who are screwing these kids up...well I dare someone to make that statement to me at this point because we have parents WELL into their forties that do just as poor of a job and aren't any better equipped to raise children than the younger ones.

I do however FIRMLY believe that the kids who are in college now and some who have graduated in recent years are some of the laziest bunch of assholes you will ever meet...they are like the kids we teach now---think they know everything, think everything should be handed to them on a silver platter, don't give a crap about listening to anyone or working. Their parents are definitely not my age but much older.

So if this is what it's going to be like, every single generation screwing up and totally ruining their children, we need to do something! If educating the kids isn't working alone because their parents don't give two shits, then why aren't we educating the parents?! If it's a LAW that we pay taxes, if it's a LAW that we take a test to get our Driver's License, if it's a LAW that we have certifications for various jobs...why doesn't someone make a law that makes it where parents have to get "professional learning units" like we do? We spend 8 hours a day with their children...they spend years with their children and they've already royally screwed their children up before they are 5 years old...so it seems as though something needs to change.

When you are older though, I think that no matter what has happened in your life you need to suck it up and stop blaming your parents...because that excuse gets old and you have a right to make your own choices. Go see Dr. Phil and get over it.

Everybody just wants to have fun...well we want to have fun too and it would be GREAT to be able to have fun, enjoy our jobs--while making a difference. If they would just let you have fun with them and try to learn something in the process, life would be so much easier it seems.

Don't come to school acting like you smoked crack rock on the bus ride over and then act like a brat when someone asks you to do something you were supposed to be doing already...I know you're mad that you can't catch anymore snowflakes on your tongue or make a snowman...I'm pretty damn pissed about it too, but I'm still doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Your sorry, lazy butt could be in Africa starving to death and having to go to work to barely make money after sleeping on a dirt floor at night...so shut up and learn how to read, it's your only job.

I'm just sayin'!

On a completely different note...here are two pretty pictures from yesterday---when for a moment, life was simple, pretty and sweet.

Today

Today is my first day off from work and before I start painting two last minute projects that people need BEFORE Christmas, begin working again on the yearbook that I only have two pages done for though the first deadline is Jan. 7th, finish bagging up Christmas presents, etc...I'm going to do what I want to do. Oddly enough, that is clean up. I'm not embarrassed to show that my kitchen looks like this right now...I would like to recognize it as my kitchen eventually today, so that is what I'm working on first. The tower of cups is really radical, huh?! I have hated the month of December thus far and am ready for it to be over. I have felt utterly exhausted all month and have had a hard time focusing on the positive things well enough to not want to cry about the negative things. There were naturally some good things that occurred, things I've been super thankful for and I haven't dreaded or hated every single moment. But, the month has moved by too quickly and the yearbook deadline has loomed over my head while I'm at work begging people to take pictures of their damn classes to put in the yearbook and when I'm not at work the thoughts are looming while I'm trying to have a little fun. I won't do that next year. I've made up my mind that if I'm going to be stuck making this stupid yearbook, I am not begging for pictures anymore. If I get absolutely NONE to go on a teacher's page, then so be it. If I'm the one who has to pay the price for not having any, then I will just take my punishment I guess. Too bad my punishment wouldn't be to take yearbook away! I'm just tired of having to beg and get no response, I'm tired of a job that I need to do hinging on something that people need to do themselves and won't help me with. I'm also tired of the month of December when times are supposed to be jolly and fun, being all about yearbook deadlines in my world. I can't enjoy the season because in the back of my mind, there's the stupid yearbook that I'm not sitting at my computer constantly working on...because I really DON'T WANT TO! All I really want to do is have a clean house and have time to ride around and look at Christmas lights!! I'm not hard to please really and it doesn't seems like a pricey request. Anyway, I'm headed off to work on the tower of cups and disgusting dishes, so that I can then work on the yearbook with a clearer mind....

What Was I Thinking?!

Here are some random thoughts that have gone in and out of my mind this evening...

See this pink Christmas tree? I came THIS close to ordering it off ebay tonight. I don't NEED a pink Christmas tree! What possessed me to almost purchase this?! I'm still thinking about it...somebody stop me please. If you are a friend, tell me NOT to purchase this Christmas tree! Julie's at class and there's nobody to knock some sense into me...we have a really nice FAKE--Doesn't need watering/won't catch on fire (usually)/won't put needles on the floor for dogs to choke on/green tree...I do not need a pink tree...It is pretty though, isn't it?!


See this salad? This is the salad I made tonight with a packet of Honey Mustard dressing leftover from a Zaxby's salad. You know you've made your salad too large when it won't fit into one of your regular DEEP salad/soup bowls and you have to move it to a Pyrex bowl to stir it. (ps. that Pyrex bowl was an Ebay purchase when I used to collect them...I only need an orange one now--my luck, it probably once held human remains--hopefully that thorough cleaning I gave it did the trick. You just never can tell with these things really). Good Lord!

Which brings to mind two other thoughts...I can't stand to not have my salad properly stirred (I almost said "tossed" HAHAHA!) Seriously, if the dressing and all of the GOOD stuff is not mixed in well enough with the lettuce, I will think about it the entire time I'm trying to enjoy my salad. FREAK! Hence, having to pour it into a bigger bowl tonight. Hey, I have no qualms admitting that I'm a freak and I'll wave my freak flag along with the rest of 'em. You know who you are. ;)


Thought two about this salad is how it has left me in pain and I wish that I would have left one key ingredient out of it...that would be cucumbers. I enjoy eating cucumbers in salads, but afterwards I have the most painful indigestion or heartburn, I really don't know the difference. Whatever it is, it's bad and causes me to eat Tums which taste nasty and we're almost out of them.
Oh yeah, that brings me to another thought I had...when people call cucumbers "cukes." Well anything that rhymes with "pukes" is a no-no in my book anyway...but putting a "K" in a word that does not typically have a "K" just makes me have that icky feeling like I just saw a clown that looks like the one from the "It" movie driving down the road in what looks like a "child abductor van" (gotta click on each one of those words for the full effect)with the "ice cream truck" music playing, wearing a stained "wife beater" shirt with blood on his face. Well maybe not THAT bad, but the whole situation just isn't right really. Don't put a "k" where a "C" goes just to make yourself seem cool. "Kustom Kreations?" Get a life...IF your stuff IS cheap crap, it isn't any cooler and more worthy of purchase just because you were fancy and COOL enough to change the letter "C" to a "K." Geez. Go back to grade SKOOL, moron.

One last thought, can you tell it's about time for the monthly visitor to arrive?! Gotta be coming shortly, seriously. Oh, and I don't like when people call that "Aunt Flo." Gross. Let's associate our aunts with good things people...even if they do wear their curlers to the Piggly Wiggly to buy a pack of Menthol lights after just waking up at 3pm.

I'm thinking this is the time of the month when I write my most humorous stuff...loving my dogs, photographing yummy french toast...that stuff doesn't sell. ;)

Family

This has been bothering me for a couple of days and I felt the need to write it down so that I can rid myself of it. A co-worker was telling me she was tired yesterday and I agreed and said I was tired as well. Then she says to me, "Well at least you don't have a family to worry about." It caught me off guard even though she is well known among my circle of friends of being a person that often likes to hit you with a "jellyfish" comment. A jellyfish comment is one where you are stung but often feel the sting later once the person has walked off and you are no longer stunned. On "You've got mail" they call it being "zinged." I try to be a nice person and honestly it is not really hard work for me. I actually consider myself an extremely nice person and usually try to go out of my way to be friendly, until you sting me once or twice and then I really just try to ignore you and don't go out of my way to be bubbly and chummy with you anymore. To me this is probably giving people way more than they often deserve because most times all they want is to talk about themselves and then when it comes to my turn, they are suddenly busy or no longer interested---because it's not about THEM anymore.

The family thing gets to me though---in lots of ways. She said she wishes she knew then what she knows now and her life would be different. Well true---she's saying that she'd rather not have kids and is telling me I'm lucky that I have no family. Which I do feel sorry for her that she is so miserable in her life that she can't be happy with what she has....but everyone makes choices in life---she chose her path and I chose mine. I won't feel sorry for her having chose this particular path and she should keep her comments (if jellyfish-ish to herself). I indeed do have a family. It's a family that doesn't have runny-nosed children in diapers running around the house and a family that doesn't have a deadbeat, neglectful, money draining husband either. Why would I even want your apparent definition of family anyway? Don't be mean to me or act like I don't have the right to be tired EVER because I don't drive a mini-van, complain non-stop about kids I either chose to have or were accidents that make me exhausted and bitter instead of happy, and/or a husband whom I can't even stand to be around. Seriously, get over the bitterness people and learn to be happy with the choices YOU made and stop picking at me for being actually HAPPY with the choices I made.

And just to set the record straight, I indeed do know what it's like taking care of kids. I don't have my own, but being a nanny to ones who aren't yours can be just as exhausting (esp. when you are worried about how well you are taking care of someone else's kids and house.) I took care of four boys while in college. A typical day would go like this: get to their house after my classes and pick the youngest up from his school...then drive across town to pick up the other three from their school. Drive home, make dinner while they are doing their homework---the dinner had to be tweaked four different ways even for the twins. Make sure all of their karate gear was in the car--go to karate and do that for however long, drive home---make sure the oldest ones were getting their showers while helping the youngest...read scriptures, say prayers and put them all to bed...then I finally had some time to myself after cleaning up the house and taking care of the two dogs and cat. I truly loved those boys. But, that right there was how I finally made the decision that kids were great, but I did not have to have them in my life to fill some kind of void or have them because that was the thing to do. Those few years were exhausting and I wasn't even there every night. I knew that was not how I wanted to spend my life. These people who constantly complain about their kids...how sad is that?! They chose to have them and then they can't even enjoy them because of complaining so much. You have to figure out what works best for you and do that....and don't go around biting people's heads off or thinking they don't have things going on in their own life that gives them the right to be tired every now and then too.

So I say to you, that I do have a family...a family that supports me and loves me and is the most special thing in my life...and thank goodness I do, because after dealing with people like you all day who think without speaking and hurt people while never even realizing or caring, I'm glad to have something to come home to that means warmth, care, love, and happiness to me. And I'm thankful that my rendition of family apparently looks and acts NOTHING like yours.

FAMILY =

Neighbors

We just got new neighbors behind us...you would think with a driveway that long, we wouldn't have to see too much of them--but I already feel their presence more than I would like. First let me explain why the word "neighbor" brings such a bitter taste to my mouth. Excuse the long explanation that is about to follow (you've been warned, you could stop reading at any time) :)...
I lived 18 years without the slightest hint of a neighbor. Our neighbors were bobcats in the trees and super huge gopher turtles the dogs liked to torment. I was an only child who always thought it was lonely and wanted neighbor kids to play with. My parents loved not having neighbors and I thought they were odd hermits. Oh how I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger...thanks Rod Stewart.

When I went off to VSU I thought it would be so exciting to live in the dorm with neighbors on all sides at a ridiculously close proximity...finally friends to play with! Woo hoo! I quickly found out why you don't make friends with your neighbors and the fun wore off. I grew tired of trying to go to the bathroom with six other people on both sides of me and always having to listen to someone's drama at 1:00 in the morning. There were these two girls next door who were very heavy drinkers, we were not. That was totally fine, but somehow they always involved us in their mess. They thought having a collection of bottles of all the things they had drank for the last few months was a brilliant idea...it wasn't so brilliant when they were trying to hide thirty something bottles from their parents when they came to visit. So, guess where they always wanted to store the bottles? We got tired of their parents visiting just as much as they did...because ever so often we were having to help them haul the bottle collection over to our room. It got old...quickly. These are the same people who would randomly show up at our door late at night with crazy bleeding scratches and wounds to tend because they "fell" in the parking lot. On the other side were the typical roommates that took turns stopping in to complain about how much they hated the other one, yet once together, they appeared to be the best of friends. Luckily, across the hall was just an overly excited (soon to be) sorority girl who decorated her room only in sorority paraphernalia and who's Victoria Secret lotion/perfume collection scents were so strong you couldn't talk to her for more than a minute without wanting to pass out. You literally could smell her before you could see or hear her. I'm so not kidding.

Ok...so moved out of the dorm into my first house with three of the girls from the dorm (all whom turned out to be the most psychotic people I've ever known...we'll share those stories another day!) My first "real" house neighbor was a SUPER MEAN old lady who lived by herself and I guess was just lonely and bitter. She was never nice to us though we went out of our way to be nice to her.

The next neighbor was when I moved to a house closer to campus minus one psychotic roommate..but still stuck with the other. These new neighbors here are the ones to put the icing on the cake for the number one reasons I don't like neighbors. I felt sorry for the woman because she had three kids and her creepy husband had left her there with them after she had moved from Germany to be with him. I thought her German accent was nifty and her kids were nice. You know this wore off right? One day I caught her son tormenting my Cocker Spaniel (Casey) from outside the fence. I thought everyone knew not to pick on a Cocker Spaniel. I guess he wanted face reconstruction. They had the fattest, most disgusting Dalmation I have ever seen in my life. Felt sorry for her at first too because she was a rescued dog. Didn't feel so sorry for her when she spent an entire year crapping in my front yard...where I walked to check the mail and get in my car. The dog had hemorrhoids ya'll. I'm serious here. Sick. Can you picture the lady with a German accent explaining to me why it was ok for her dog to take a shit in my yard because it was a miracle she was taking one at all?! She told me she had trained the dog to go in my yard when nobody lived there...so she was used to it. She wasn't going to bother to try and change that behavior either. I'm not even exaggerating when I say that I would go out and check the mail and the poor dog would be hunched over trying to go...then 30 minutes later I would leave to go back to class and she was still out there hunched over trying to go. There was almost always an overweight Dalmation hunched over-mid crap in my yard. When she finally did go, it was large.

Ok, so you think that's pretty bad right?! It totally doesn't stop there. This woman was always taking advantage of my babysitting services, but for free. She would pretend it was just going to be for an hour or so and 10 years later I've put her kids through college before she ever returned. She even had me hide the Santa Claus presents in my house. The kids weren't all that bad, but one day they brought home friends. You know the kind that make you scratch your head and in some 5th grade classrooms they get flicked across the room from one student to another. Once they caught these friends, they never seemed to get rid of them and I never really wanted them back in my house. She apparently had no qualms about the entire neighborhood finding out her kids had lice because she sat on her front step every other night-- lice combing someone's hair...and they would usually be in their underwear. Insert German accent screaming to child, "Anna, why are you outside with clothes on?!" Anna was often seen in just her panties but oddly enough her brother only went outside fully clothed. It was a very strange world.

My parents would be proud to know that it only took a few years and some hard lessons for me to learn that maybe in Mrs. Cleaver land it was a good thing to go ask your neighbor for a cup of sugar...but for us, the word "neighbor" sounds best alongside locks on gates and blackened out windows with bars. "Golly Beav!" (photo from google)

Something Finished

I'm tired tonight, too much running around, so here is something to look at that is finished---makes me feel better! :) This is two views of Julie's room.

And just a little tiny venting for this evening...
I think I need to utilize the punching bag and imagine the new co-worker that I haven't even had introductions with yet, but walked into my room today and called me, "her favorite person in the whole world" to which I replied, "people say that to me when they want something"---then comes "Would you make something for me?" Why am I only someone's favorite when they want something from me?!
Just because my title is the "Art teacher" doesn't mean that my every waking moment is to be spent making and doing projects for you. I don't wake up in the morning thinking that I would LOOOOVEEEEE to paint, draw, etc...for you. I'm sorry that I will NEVER get excited when you think up a project for ME to do because YOU can't find the time or inclination to do it for YOURSELF. Wait, let me stop taking care of my own classroom, planning my own lessons, doing my own job...so that I can do YOURS! Thank you for the introduction, wait---you never gave one---you just came in demanding things on a Tuesday afternoon. So let me start. "Hi, my name is Melissa, I'm the Art teacher...I was put here to do whatever you need or want me to do---no matter how ridiculous. Need a Taj Mahal built to scale from toothpicks --in an hour? I'm on it...and while I'm at it--let me listen to you complain about how much harder YOUR job is than mine because I'm JUST the Art teacher after all." "Ps....*F* off!" Of course it's different when people are your REAL friends and ask you nicely to do something without expecting you just will...however that's usually not the case.

Because this is the kind of thing you do in the summer while waiting for paint to dry

I'm currently re-painting what will now be known as the craft room or for the Art snobs I went to college with, the "art studio." It was red before and will now be a most excellent aqua color...definitely not teal because teal is aqua with way too much green in it. So don't come over here calling this color teal, got it?! :) The official name of the color is "Jamaican Sea" by Behr and I like to say that with my faux Jamaican accent of course! I made this little quiz when I saw it on a friend's page...it took a little time and will take a little time for people to answer if they choose...but it IS the summer and this is what you do while you're waiting for a coat of paint to dry. Well it's what I do. And that brings me to add this...someone at work whom I normally think very highly of and respect a great deal said this to me on the last day before summer break, "You really should have some kids because you have WAY too much time on your hands." Tell me this, is that a crime? Why is it that when MOST, not all people have kids that they expect that you should have some kids too because you have the time to do the things you enjoy? I do good things with MY time--home improvement projects, nice things for friends, crafty/artsy stuff...I don't harm anyone. Why does it kill certain people when those of us who don't have kids, have time on our hands to do what we please?! Don't they know the reason why I don't have kids, is because I know that I wouldn't want to dedicate the time to them that they deserve? I know what I want out of life and what I want to do and it doesn't involve having kids. I like being around other people's children and love kids...I TEACH them...but I don't want my own. To me, that is a smart thing to know about yourself and these people who have three and four kids who do nothing but complain about them and the lack of time they have for themselves...is that the right thing to do? Is that what they should be doing with THEIR precious time? I feel sorry for their children because they didn't ask to be born to people who will just complain about them non-stop. Moral of my venting: I don't judge you for how you chose to spend your time and life, so don't do it to me. Anyway...enough of my venting. Here is the quiz if the link works...

Create your own Friend Quiz here