Monday, March 22, 2010

In Like A Lion Out Like A Lamb?! Really?!

I don't have any pretty pictures to show all honesty--it's kinda nice to come here right now and just have words and not worry about what picture I will post and whether or not it's relevant...or irrelevant. I post pretty pictures I just want to vent and say the things that I can't really say elsewhere. :)

I hate March. March is a serious you--know--what. The funny thing is I ALWAYS forget just how much I truly hate March until March rolls around again the next year--slaps me around, stomps on me, takes a ginormous dump on me and just about when I've had enough, when I am curled up in a fetal position sucking my thumb, April comes and saves the year. I have some sort of freaky March curse---right now---I THANKFULLY have the ability to not remember all of the bad things that have ever happened in March---but some seriously messed up crap happens every time. I don't go into March putting negative vibes into the universe..therefore possibly making these bad things happen---because remember, I always forget by next March. So it's not me, it's MARCH!

Let's just start with January and February--I don't remember when all of this craziness started happening---sometime around then. We had dryer issues out the wazooo---decided we weren't going to get a new dryer just to have the washer crap out the next month---so replaced both. The water filtration unit froze up outside because we were idiots and didn't cover it up properly---or because the guy told us there was no need--AHEM. I went to the doctor for chronic eye issues only to pay over a hundred dollars to be told it was allergies and "hey, get these eye drops while you're at it." Later to have blurry vision in said eye to the point of being ridiculously terrified into tears. Thankfully to find out that blurry vision wasn't permanent and that my eyeballs are just all scratched up from my sucky eyelids. That was the biggest relief ever. I can't tell you how frustrating it was to have to listen daily to people's petty---yes petty to me--problems about this and that when all I wanted was to be able to see damnit. It's truly amazing how much people whine about stuff that truly doesn't matter and when you can't see out of one eye and those eyes are you livelihood--in your day job and your non-day job---it really puts it into perspective how you don't want to listen to other people's b.s. Seriously. That's as nicely as I can put it're talking to me about how your ex-husband said this, did ruined your day and I'm terrified that I can't see and will have to be cut on at best...when I'd rather lose a leg than an eye?! People are selfish and inconsiderate, they really are.

So before finding out what was really wrong with my eye---I also went to the dermatologist and found out that it could be a little bit of ocular rosacea going on with it too---if you have regular facial rosacea which I have---you are 50% likely to have the ocular rosacea (something I didn't know existed) and my derma thought maybe that was it because of my extreme sensitivity to light I was having. I was driving in the dark with sunglasses in the mornings and it was still almost unbearable. Craziness.

All of that has improved...and though I DO NOT want to add up all the money I've spent on those doctor's visits and the medicines I'm on---it's completely worth it...It's well over $400.00 now but the peace of mind I have now, makes it priceless.

Literally the day before I was able to have that peace of mind--Nikki had to be rushed to the emergency vet---we had no idea what was wrong with her--ate her breakfast, went outside, came back in and was moaning and wouldn't move around. She being 11 years old, it wasn't something we were going to play with. I HAD to stay here for bunny pics and it happened to be the day with some of the most hellacious acting children I've ever met...I practically begged one lady to get out---her kid was ripping down our "set" and screaming...carrying on like a wild animal. I was polite and told her that I really couldn't take her money---that if she just went ahead and left it would prob. be best. YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID?! Here's the child acting like somebody needed to beat him up to Atlanta and back---is screaming, crying, laughing when Dad picks him up and tells him to stop...ripping down stuff in or house--falling out of chairs---and the Mom says---"I really, really want to get some pictures of him..." I'm like---LADY--it's NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! I played along even though I was so infuriated inside I could have gone Hulk apeshitcrazy on her and the kid. Managed to get very few pics. BUT I straight up took her money!! If she would have left I would have never taken it but he ripped apart part of the house and screamed for 15 something minutes every time they touched him...while she expected me to get pictures of him smiling at yes indeed I took her $50.00 and will try to talk myself into being OK with the fact that she MIGHT get 6-8 decent pics. And why should I feel guilty about her not getting pics?! I don't know, I guess because I'm an only child--it's in my blood to feel guilty about stupid crap that I have absolutely no control over.

It rained today...hell--somehow that might be my fault. :)

That same day----I almost bought a damn $10.00 basket for $1,000.00. Enough said. Thank goodness nobody else on ebay deemed it worthy of much. Now I own a $30.00 basket that I only wanted to pay $10.00 for but THANK YOU JESUS I didn't have to pay $1,000.00 for it or do a bid retract. Mercy.

Nikki came home alive and well despite the awful, negative energy I put into the universe thinking that she would not come home with Julie. They are getting older and I know this and I know that at this point any day that I have with the older two, is a a blessing---I am still selfish enough to be sad about the idea of not having them around any longer. I will be sad when they are gone, but will do my absolute best to focus on all the good snuggles and joy they brought into the house while here.

So far--the problem was just a hurt leg---but we are changing vets---love the emergency vet in Covington but HATE our regular vet office in Griffin. A couple of hundred more dollars added to March madness. The day after all this went down----we went to the eye doc and dropped Nikki off at vet---they didn't do half the things we asked them to do and didn't even x-ray her leg after the other vet said it needed to be done...suckers. Why is good, CARING help so hard to find? Spoke with a friend about a new vet, have one that we're checking out in Macon.

When Julie got home from the mentally exhausting vet trip and I was done with bunny pics---thankfully she was here to see that last abomination of craziness---she said--you just want to cry huh?! So we gave ourselves about 10 minutes of self-pity time and then got back to work. :)
Two people, exhausted--standing in the kitchen--crying. March had beaten us down, kicked our asses and we were spent.

Today Julie goes out to open her garage door to go to pops itself off the chain or whatever it's technically called---even lifting it manually wouldn't work...had to drive my car to take me to work---then drive herself to work. I caught a ride home from a friend from work...garage door repairman came--took less than 15 minutes to assess the issue/repair the problem. $85.00 more dollars added to March's tab.

I'm so so thankful for the things that are good--I think of myself as a person that knows how to show gratitude. But I'm really, really over March. Good things have happened, things have gotten better when they could have gotten worse---thank you for that! I'm just ready for the LAMB part and so over with the LION.

If you made it this far, thank obviously care or are just really bored. Either way, I love you for sticking through it. Thank you for just hearing me out.


Lennye March 23, 2010 at 8:26 PM  

I didn't know about the crazy kid or that rosecea can get in your eye. The later I find very interesting. Spring Break is only two weeks away, so hang in there.

Jessie March 26, 2010 at 8:31 AM  

Wow, that sucks. :( You are like me. You worry about things you can't control. You are super nice. You think positive and try to keep smiling. :)

I gotta say, the first part you wrote about not wanting to hear about peoples stupid problems,...I can't really relate to that. Sometimes it makes me feel like a bad person because I don't want to hear people complain about shit! I think its because I try to be positive and I know complaining does NO good.

Plus, I have people in my life that I give advise too, yet they never take it. Then they come back complaining about there "problems" again. It is exhausting for me. I feel like saying, "If you would of just listened to me in the first place none of this would of happened."

We all have problems.

Anyways, it is almost April!!!!!!!! :)

ModDiva March 28, 2010 at 2:40 AM  

I'm ready for March to be over too- Sounds like I wasn't the only one with a terrible March. Hope the months ahead get better! Glad to see you back blogging!
Mod Diva

Natalie March 29, 2010 at 9:34 PM  

OH girl!! Makes me want to offer you another kitchen hug!! I feel horrible for being so wrapped up in the kiddos when we were there that I hardly even got to talk to you. Here's hoping that the next two days of March hurries up and gets the heck out and that April is much, much, much better for you. Love you!!

krista April 3, 2010 at 1:04 AM  

i bitchslapped march for you. she has officially left the building.

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