Saturday, January 17, 2009

Trying To Kiss And Make Up

So my blog and I are kinda like friends with a broken friendship right now...I've wanted to make amends, wanted to come here and write something--but every time I thought about it, I just couldn't do it. I'm not sure of all the reasons. I need to come here and write something every now and then just for myself so that when I one day forget all of the things I tried to remember over the years, I can just click a button and it will be here for me. I need to write for myself and learn to not care one bit who may or may not be reading and to especially not care if they deem it important or unimportant because obviously if it's on here, it's important to me. I should make 2009 the year where if something is only important to me (well me plus one and sometimes me plus five),then it's special enough and needs no other validation. Validation is a yucky word to me yet at times makes my world spin. I will learn that compliments, opinions, showing of gratitude from others--all of these things are things that I do not need to be happy. We've decided that the number of people we truly "get" anymore and understand where they are coming from has seriously dwindled over the years. We've also learned that people's manners and consideration for others have dwindled down in society significantly over the years. And if you are extremely excited for something, then you are the only one who can really understand what that excitement feels like and to not expect that others will be there rooting you on feeling that excitement with you. We feel strong enough to label that one as a fact. Friends and family that are those people for you should definitely be hung onto, because they are the important ones. They are your cheering squad for life, and the others are bumps in the road that maybe you learned something from and had some fun with, but maybe it's time to move on. I need to clean out the closet in 2009 and send some things away forever and some things that maybe got pushed back to the back, will pull them out again and remember why they were so special.


monkey January 19, 2009 at 4:24 PM  

*sigh* it's such a double-edged sword. wanting validation yet not wanting to care that much what others think. being honest and open yet not forgetting that some things are delicate and we have an obligation to acknowledge and adjust accordingly to the delicateness of each situation.
it's hard.
and i feel you on the number dwindling.

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