Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Problem With Women

Just a little something I've thought about greatly over the last few years...

When working with a gazillion other women, it's not hard to describe what the number one problem with women is: They call someone their "best friend" one minute and the next they are ragging on that person like there's no tomorrow. I just can't understand it. Men have so many issues, and yet they don't do this. Their best friend knows every shitty thing they'd ever say about them, because they slap them in the back of the head and tell it to them straight to their face, then they laugh and go toss around a baseball or something. I wish it was like that for us.

I can't tell you how many "best friends" at my work have told me something behind the other person's back and I'm sitting there thinking, "Oh my God, I can't believe you just said that." It makes my stomach churn.

I'm not saying I've never talked about a friend with another friend. I totally have and if you're sitting there thinking you never have...think some more because you probably have as well. I'm not talking about that even. I'm talking about when someone is constantly up someone's butt giving them compliments, etc...proclaiming their best friend-hood one minute and then putting this person through the ringer the next---only behind their back. And they are usually doing this with someone they never hang out with outside of work. I would never do that. I would never tell you--you are just the greatest, most wonderful thing ever and then go talk about how you do this, this and this that drive me crazy and I think you are a screwed up person.

The people that I feel are screwed up are the ones that I don't go visit or ask how they are doing, because I don't care. So yeah, if someone was to ask me what I felt about those people, I'd tell them what my personal opinions on them were---whether that is nice or not...wrong perhaps. But I never gave that person an inclination that I thought they were super duper in the first place. And they certainly never did the same to me.

But I draw the line at bashing someone with other people just to get a reaction. And I hate that there are people that disagree on practically EVERY. SINGLE. ISSUE. with our head honchos, but you'll see those people kissing ass like there's no tomorrow every time you turn around. It's like they can't stand them, talk badly about them, yet want their approval and friendship still?

If you are my friend and someone is saying something about you to me that is untrue, then I will certainly defend the hell out of you and tell them that they have misinterpreted you in some way.

It's the number one thing I want to figure out in my thirties. I want to figure out these complex relationships and why people do the things they do and say the things they say. I wanted to have it figured out by now and it didn't happen. It's the reason I don't go around visiting as much as I used to. I speak to the people that I think are decent and try my best to get around to seeing them and talking to them every now and then...but I avoid the others like the plague. I don't want to be a part of that toxic cycle. The ones that only talk to you when they want something and otherwise don't care of your existence and will trash you when you turn the corner.

I know I go about a lot of things the wrong way and want to one day get more things right than wrong. People can say what they want about me, but one thing you have never heard or seen me do is speak ill of the person I call a best friend. I wish others would re-evaluate what theirs mean to them and get it straightened out and I think we'd have a genuinely happier environment.

Of course this is just my opinion...and we all know what opinions are like. Thank goodness I don't pay the bills with this blog. LOL.


Lennye October 23, 2008 at 8:08 AM  

This is the reason F and I get along. Whatever, I've got to say I say to her and likewise. I think that is the key to a friendship. I think because we are older, we don't have time for games! Makes a difference.

monkey October 24, 2008 at 6:57 PM  

i don't understand people. i've started to accept and reject the worst of people at the same time...many of my "closest" friends have, truthfully, become acquaintances as of late and i'm sad and a tiny bit relieved at the same time. a few of these friends are the type to "discuss" their issues with others and, although it hurts to not have them in my everyday anymore, it's also a little refreshing and lacking in anxiety. this doesn't make sense.
let me recap:
i hear ya.

K2daK October 24, 2008 at 7:13 PM  


Sarah B. B. October 24, 2008 at 8:44 PM  

Phew. That was quite a book. I am sure that you WILL figure this out - and then you can clue me in and spare me the research. :) Whenever my crazy boss gets on my nerves, I need to be grateful I'm not in a building full of women. :)

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