Put A Fork In Me, I'm Done.

I'm tired.
I'm tired of being the friend who doesn't receive a phone call to go do something fun, just the phone call to hear about how the something fun has been done with someone else.

I'm tired of being the people who get called for things to be done for people, but not the people who get called just because someone was thinking about us or wants to hang out.

I'm done with doing nice things, making nice things, and saying nice things only to never move up the ladder of friendship hierarchy, but instead to be pushed down further.

I'm tired of sharing the most precious, personal secrets I have, only to never be the person that someone thinks of first when they want to share anything.

We're not the friends that get called to go to a movie. We're not the friends that get called to go shopping, we're the ones who get called about going to do something fun, yet replaced by someone else when the fun is to be had.

We're the friends who get met with jellyfish comments from people we've only ever been 100% nice to.

We're the friends who plan get-togethers and fun times, only to never have it reciprocated. We used to be those planners...been done with that for a while now.

I'm done with being the last to know anything important and having to find out from other people or through some form of internet.

I'm done with always being the one who has to smile and make a big deal over something yet never receive that same sort of reciprocation when we have something to be excited about ourselves over here.

I'm done with feeling like a doormat...speak to me how you want to or ignore me how you please, wait and call me up when you want me to do something for you..I'm done with taking it all with a smile.

I did what I could and I seriously tried to be whatever people wanted or what people needed and yet it was never enough or something...it was always someone else who barely did anything at all who got all the affection or reaped the benefits. I'll never understand it really.

Julie was done a long time ago and I should have been done with her. Guess it took extra roasting for me. The sad part is that after all the nice things you could do for people, this post here will be what is talked about and remembered and that's fine. Not like the nice stuff got me very far, so should I really care what this does? Nobody's perfect and we all get tired.

This is the last time I will make what will inevitably be a mistake for putting my feelings out there. Everyone is always all about self preservation or taking care of their family above all else. This is me finally joining the club, self preserving...I have a family and this is me taking care of it. I'm done.