Unhappy Toe, Unhappy Thoughts

This little piggy is injured and unhappy. Friday night I took the dogs out and Lucy wouldn't get off the top step, so to coax her into going potty on the grass I had to walk down onto the brick paver path--she tripped me and part of my foot rolled underneath itself. I can't bend that toe now without feeling like I could fall out. And I have found that it's amazing how many times I stretch my toes or wiggle them around without realizing it...because now when I forget and do it, an excruciating pain shoots through the injured toe. I can't put pressure down on it, so I'll be walking on my heel or over on the side of my foot. Not fun.

(I thought about not writing about this next stuff, but it's been on my mind and no matter what people think or say behind my back, I want and deserve to be able to speak my mind on my blog, so here goes.)
Lately (well for months and months) I've been thinking seriously about the state of things and the future too. Getting older, etc... I've thought about how if Julie or I was to get sick with a terminal illness or if something was to happen to one of us, who would be there to help? Who would be there to pick up the pieces when things weren't sunshines and rainbows, parties and fun times? Who would be there when things are raw, ugly and hardly bearable? I've thought about how you think you know someone and then you find you don't. How you think you can count on someone, but you can't. How people are along for the ride as long as it's for surface conversation and fun, yet not wanting to be there when things are more serious. How they are all about it when you are putting forth tons of effort or filling their buckets but as soon as you tire of all the giving and no receiving they drop you like a bad habit.

I believe there's less than a handful of people that we associate with (hard to call them all friends when some are mere acquaintances) that would be there if/when things are harder. It's one of the reasons WHY you often want to have someone playing on your team, the very reason why you want someone by your side---but is extremely difficult to find and hang onto no matter how much you do on your part it seems. These issues and difficulties are why Julie doesn't bother to invest in others and why I believe I try to invest. Because, later in life I want at least a good handful that can be there when the rest of the world has walked out. I guess I wouldn't want a whole lot of responsibility and emotional burden to fall onto one person. This is also a good reason to NOT be an only child--but that's something I unfortunately had no control over. If I'm aiming for a good handful, I think I still have more searching to do.