Sunday, October 28, 2007

Hey lady, whatcha got in that pouch?!

Every Thursday night when Julie goes to her programming class, her teacher is there wearing a little bag/pouch like you would a messenger bag. Because she wears it religiously, Julie began to speculate if the pouch carried something of great importance. Each Thursday evening when she'd get home from class, we'd talk about what could possibly be in the pouch. For example, maybe she's a diabetic and instead of wearing the little Gameboy looking box on her hip, she keeps it in the pouch or perhaps she's allergic to something and carries an Epipen. Since this wondering was potentially going to cause damage to Julie's grade because of the deep concentration it was taking to figure out what was in the pouch and lack of concentration on her programming skills, I decided we needed an intervention. I proposed that we send an email to the teacher and this is what it should say:

"Hello, I'm writing in regards to your tiny pouch that you wear every evening. I have some ideas as to what might be inside it and wanted to share them with you...

Are you a crazy cat lady and have had over 100 cats and when one dies you like to keep a tooth from it inside your pouch?

Perhaps your parents died in a tragic accident and you were never quite the same, to remember them you keep their remains inside your pouch.

Or maybe you and your brother were playing outside in a tree house when something fell and severed his finger...this had a major impact on your life, so now you keep it in your pouch.

Were you fortunate enough to catch a rainbow or fallen star and hold it there for protection?

Is your husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/partner super tiny, therefore you wear him/her around your neck so as to not lose them?

Maybe you hate public restroom toilet paper because it hurts your hiney, so in your pouch you keep your Charmin or Quilted Northern even.

Maybe you like to eat little bites of cheese throughout the day and you keep them in your pouch for quick removal.

These are just a few of the ideas I had about the items located inside your mysterious pouch. Thank you for your time."

Turns out, pouch wearer revealed the contents of her pouch the very next class day when she had misplaced it. She told the class that she had misplaced her "neck safe" which held her keys, credit cards and money. I was a tiny bit sad that the mystery was solved before we sent out the email...and how depressing that it only holds credit cards. What a waste. ;)

Big Toe reveals the contents of his pouch. A monkey and some Quilted Northern (not for himself, but for the monkey's sensitive hiney.) Of course!


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